Job Description

Motto:

Because not all battlefield heroes wear combat boots--some carry a scooper.

Mission Brief:

We're a rapidly advancing unit in the Outdoor Service Corps, known for precision ops, rapid deployment, and leaving no pile left behind. With thousands of successful missions on the books, we're looking to enlist a new recruit who isn't afraid to get tactical with their boots on the ground. Your area of operation? Civilian territory--residential and commercial sectors. Your mission?

Pet waste elimination.

It's not glamorous, but it's vital. Morale depends on it.

Core Responsibilities - Field Duties:

Execute daily patrols across assigned AO (area of operations) Conduct recon on canine territory; locate, engage, and neutralize targets (i.e., waste removal) Maintain and inspect mission-critical equipment (buckets, scoopers, tanks) Transmit SITREPs (situation reports) via internal comms systems Operate "The Tank" (company vehicle) with discipline and efficiency Interface with allied civilians (clients) -- friendly, clear, and composed under pressure Navigate terrain in all weather conditions--heat, wind, rain, snow--mission goes on
Deployment Conditions:

Operating Environment

Description

Terrain

Residential zones, commercial posts, backyards of every shape and threat level

Weather Exposure

Rain, heatwaves, cold fronts--gear up and adapt

Squad Interaction

Occasional virtual briefings, supply retrieval, and unit check-ins

Autonomy

You're the mission commander of your daily ops--decide, execute, deliver

What We Demand of Our Troops:

Battle-tested endurance: Carry 50+ lbs, march long distances, maintain field readiness Weaponized time management: You're punctual, organized, and operate with zero micromanagement Tactical communications: Respond to field messages within 12 hours; clarity and professionalism are non-negotiable Technology-enabled: Input mission data, field notes, and submit digital comms Situational awareness: Think on your feet, adapt on the move, report to command when escalation is required Psychological resilience: Stay positive in all weather conditions, handle "dirty work" with honor
What Makes This Unit Elite:

No cubicle confinement--this is active duty in the open theater Earn recognition from high command (our clients) for your precision and reliability Real camaraderie, no bureaucracy--just boots, grit, and performance Direct impact--civilian lawns will rise from chaos to order under your watch
Warning Order:

This post isn't for desk jockeys or those afraid of a little mud/rain or heat. If you need constant supervision or daily back-pats, you're not cut out for this squad. But if you're self-directed, dependable, and have what it takes to be on the frontlines of yard hygiene--you're exactly the kind of soldier we salute.

Suit up. Saddle in. And scoop on.

Job Types: Full-time, Part-time

Pay: $16.00 - $22.00 per hour

Benefits:

401(k) Dental insurance Flexible schedule Health insurance Paid time off Vision insurance
Application Question(s):

Are you at least 21 years of age or older? Have you ever been charged with a DUI or DWI? Have you had any speeding tickets or at fault accidents in the past 3-5 years?
Work Location: On the road